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I tell them that, among my clients, it is often the ones who aren’t oil paintings who are the nicest, and if only people would take the trouble to get to know them properly they could have a lovely relationship.” Over the years, both Balfour and Sweetingham have learnt a lot about what works and what doesn’t. Don’t go for dinner – meet for a drink or coffee somewhere neutral and leave with each of you wanting to know more about the other.
People think that they have to fall in love straight away, and if they don’t fancy the other person immediately they say they’d rather not see them again as ‘they’d be leading them up the garden path’.
Is intelligent eloquent conversation more appealing than a, so called, ‘perfect’ body?
Packaging is, after all, just that, it’s what’s inside a person that really counts.
If somebody offers only 70 per cent of what they’re looking for, they say, ‘Next please.’” Many of her clients are in adrenaline-driven jobs and so “the urgent takes over from the important, and taking time and trouble over relationships falls by the wayside”.
She spends much of her time persuading her clients not to reject others too early.
And it never ceases to amaze me how many apparent “catches” have trouble finding Mr or Mrs Right.
Speak to singletons over the age of 30 and you hear the same mournful refrain: “Most of my friends are married or partnered up and the only single people I meet are workmates.” Add to that the fact that once the carefree 20s are over, lots of things change – with more responsibility at work, there’s less leisure time, mortgages begin to take their toll and fewer carefree parties take place.
“I think it’s a very difficult time for relationships.
Some women come across as men, and men find that quite intimidating.
We all know the famous aphorism that if you’re female, live in New York and you’re over 30 you have more chance of being run over than finding a mate.
Judging by contemporary writing on the subject, there are more single people looking for a soulmate than at any other time in human history.
Many people, she says, are nervous and so talk too much about themselves and don’t know how to flirt.