Online dating for big people
Online dating for big people
Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.
More importantly though, it’s important to remember that attraction is about more than just looks – it’s about personality, presence and what you bring to the table.
Some people have shorter torsos and trunks, which will affect their visual proportions; a longer torso makes you look skinnier even if you’re overweight while a shorter one makes you appear wider.
Even if you lose weight, it’s no guarantee that you’re going to look like the cover of Men’s Health; a visible six-pack is as much the result of genetics, dehydration and favorable lighting as it is eating nothing but broiled chicken breasts and steamed broccoli and five hundred crunches a day.
And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.
Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people – mostly women, but men too – from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts.
Large dudes will frequently lament that their size automatically disqualifies them from dating – they believe that there is simply no way a woman could possibly like somebody who’s body isn’t rippled and shiny like a buttered ear of corn. Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. It’s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we’d think.
Ask five women what their ideal male build is and you’ll get six different answers.“The unfortunate reality is that the current dating environment is very cruel to bigger girls,” the app’s San Francisco-based CEO Neil Raman told Raman got the idea in 2014, when the dating website Simple Pickup conducted a social experiment in which a woman showed up to her Tinder dates wearing a fat suit, eliciting cruel and frustrated responses from her dates.Raman and co-founder, Michelle Li, built Woo Plus, which has a Tinder-like interface that allows you to swipe yes or no to plus-size singles; matches are given 48 hours to message each other.A low-carb diet might help you lose weight, but it’s not going to change your underlying frame; if you’re naturally compact and dense, then you’re not going to jog that away. I inherited the O’Malley shoulders and I’m naturally barrel-chested; no amount of dieting or jogging is going to make that smaller.I’m always going to look more like a beer keg than Henry Cavill no matter what I do or don’t eat.Every dating app has its supporters and its naysayers.