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Although a younger girlfriend bought him some time, biologically speaking, it also alienated him from his friends, who could understand the physical attraction but couldn’t really relate to Rachel.In the past, Jacob had always been the kind of guy who didn’t break up well. His desire to be with someone, to not have to go looking again, had always trumped whatever doubts he’d had about the person he was with. “I feel like I underwent a fairly radical change thanks to online dating,” Jacob says.
Almost immediately, he was surprised by the difficulty he had meeting women.But most of the online-dating-company executives I interviewed while writing my new book, Love in the Time of Algorithms, agreed with what research appears to suggest: the rise of online dating will mean an overall decrease in commitment.“The future will see better relationships but more divorce,” predicts Dan Winchester, the founder of a free dating site based in the U. “The older you get as a man, the more experienced you get.But what if online dating makes it too easy to meet someone new?What if it raises the bar for a good relationship too high?At that point in my life, I would’ve overlooked everything else and done whatever it took to make things work.
Did online dating change my perception of permanence? When I sensed the breakup coming, I was okay with it.“I went from being someone who thought of finding someone as this monumental challenge, to being much more relaxed and confident about it.Rachel was young and beautiful, and I’d found her after signing up on a couple dating sites and dating just a few people.” Having met Rachel so easily online, he felt confident that, if he became single again, he could always meet someone else.Jacob was single for two years and then, at 26, began dating a slightly older woman who soon moved in with him.She seemed independent and low-maintenance, important traits for Jacob.What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track?